Whoa Bear. Whoa. What A Trippy Trip!

Well, that last post was a trip wasn't it! Don't worry, I'm much less stabby right now. Despite being a really busy week and feeling things pile up, I was finally able to have 2 semi decent nights of undisturbed sleep (some disturbing dreams but that would take me a few posts to fully explain and would probably scare some of you so let's skip that) I am feeling *slightly* more human.  Which I am thankful for. Plus, I really think that God was looking out for me and knew I needed some cheering up, thus I am now pleased to have the following 2 stories to tell you...

story one.
Last Friday I called it a night at the barn, packed up, and headed home.  As soon as I crossed the street and got onto the sidewalk, this local couple kinda jumps out in front of me from this little place called "the courtyard". There is some pushing and shoving involved, so my first thought was they were just flirtatiously wrestling.  A little more on the aggressive side perhaps.  But then there were punches being thrown. His shirt was ripped. She was screaming. I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw him shove her to the ground and try to keep her pinned there as she kicked and punched him.  I turned to the other locals sitting at the courtyard and I'm all "is anyone else seeing this?!?!".  They jump up and run over to try and pull these two apart.  By then she had gotten back up and now they are fighting on the gravel road.  It takes 4 people to peel these two apart.
They let go of the woman.  She is pisssssssssed.  She walks over to her purse on the ground and I see all the contents strewn about. She bends down and picks something up.  Thinking she is going to be just walking away. Oh no.  She comes walking straight towards me.  Carrying a HUGE rock.  She makes eye contact with me.  I pooped my pants a little. Said a quick prayer that should would not have any displacement of anger.
She obviously needed to get past me, and like a lady, I stepped aside to clear the sidewalk for her mission.  She took two steps past me and I turn around to see where she is going.  Turns out, to the car I was standing right beside.
Slow motion picture it: guy being held back by 2 other guys. arm outstretched as he says 'NOOOOOOOO'.  one pissed-off-woman-on-a-mission-carrying-huge-ass-rock raise said rock above her head and then propel it with all her mighty-might into his car windshield.  Shatter.


I. Die.


I politely get out of the way.  Then see this guy (I'm assuming in tears now) get into his newly-decorated car and just drive away.  The rock was obviously still on the hood of his car, because his driving away was followed by a glorious CRUUUUUNCHing sound as he drove OVER the rock.


So obviously that was fun.


Story Two:

I haven't stopped laughing about this one for 4 days.  Jen and I went to the gym, then got a few things from the store. Jen picked up a bottle of wine.  She had been trying to get eggs for at least the past 2 days, but every time she goes to picard grocery or iga they are completely out.  Which is kinda devastating for us, as eggs may or may not be keeping us alive. So when we got back to the apartment we parted ways at picard so she could check one more time for eggs.  I turn and start walking towards the apartment as she turns the other way to walk into the store.  I get literally about 2 steps away and then  I hear this sound which is kind of hard to describe with words... but basically the sounds of some really harsh footsteps with an 'off'' sort-of pattern about them - which you instinctively know someone is tripping and trying to recover.
I whipped around just in time to see Jen still valiantly trying to recover, yet defying gravity by being suspended horizontally above the cement.  With arms outstretched at her side, the grocery bag containing 2 grapefruits and a bottle of wine cushioning her fall, it was if she would make contact with the ground but her feet just wouldn't give up! They were wrapped around each other and kept on moving like a speedy-little-road-runner, thus continuing to propel her further as she kept bouncing off the ground with her knee and hands and elbows.
She finally made full contact about 5 feet from where the original feet-entangling-action-occurred.  Right. In front. Of the store door.  Full of witnesses.

I ran over to her as quickly as I could as she stayed down on the pavement with the most priceless look I have EVER seen on a person's face.  It was a mix of 'I'm-not-sure-im-okay'/'hey-how-did-i-get-down-here'/'shit-that-was-really-embarrassing-and-im-not-quite-sure-how-to-gracefully-recover-from-this'/'the-bitch-running-towards-me-is-never-going-to-let-me-live-this-down'.

Obviously I'm a really good human being and thus an amazing friend because my first reaction *TRULY* was that of concern.  I swear.  I'm all "JEN ARE YOU OKAY!?!?" Before I could even make it to her people were coming out of the store to make sure she was okay too.  I helped her up as she was still trying to figure out what had just happened to her.  Shake it of girl. Shake it off.  We did a quick assessment of her wounds and concluded she was in face A-OK.



Literally every time I walk past the store now I start giggling because I can picture Jen down on the pavement with the most precious stunned look on her face.

Jen claims she did this on purpose because she knew I needed a good laugh and knows the delight I take in seeing people eat it hard.

What can I say. When Jen giveth... she giveth the crap out of it. One of the MANY reasons I love her.  She fully commits to all things.  Never half-assed. Although she did hurt half her ass.

Pictures to come.

xoxo



ps. in case you were wondering... the bottle of wine did NOT break.  And yes. We polished it off.
pps.  her wounds are healing nicely. except she claims she damaged the cartilage between some ribs.
ppps. a part of me hopes the healing process is a little bit slower because on average, I get about 50 glimpses of them a day... and they make me relive the entire ordeal and laugh until my abs hurt.
pppps.  I'm pretty sure I will come back with a 6 pack from this. Jen really gave me an incredible gift.

I Would Give Up My First Born To Come Home

Maybe I'm having a 'low-in-everything-type-day' - like food, estrogen, energy, patience, sanity etc etc... but I basically have a more intense level of hate for all things Dominica than usual.

And to all you annoyingly positive, 'if you change your attitude you wouldn't mind it so much' people, I say to you... until YOU experience medical school *alone* you can shut-it. And when you go through the insanity of med school on an assbackwards-allthingsabnormal-intensity-of-hell-fire-heat island that is Dominica, you are at risk of getting yourself cut. by me. and I'm not far enough along in my medical training to be able to stitch you back up. So that sucks. For you.

In case you haven't noticed. This is me venting.  Which means this is not the time to say anything rational to me. Because you can *almost* be guaranteed that what you say and what I interpret will be vastly different.  And then you will really get hurt.

So let us summarize. And all agree.
1 - medical school is hard. full stop.
2 - dominca sucksass.
3 - even the sun hates this island and several times a week, tries to set it on fire.
4 - becoming a doctor (and being one) requires a lot of sacrifices.
5 - I'm not the sanest person right now.
6 - when I come home a *little* worse-for-wear you pretend to understand and just tell me I'm still pretty as you calmly stroke my hair.