The Paranoia Sets In.

I am having a particularly difficult time focusing today.  For several reasons my mind is racing, and it turns into borderline obsessive paranoia.  My current overwhelming thought processes involve this blog because as my sister was reading it last night she's all 'TAYLOR! What if someone there finds this blog!!"

I'm all "no one is going to find it! that would be, like, impossible!"

She's all "you can just google your name!"

I'm all "well that's new.  Shite."

Now, it is NOT that I have anything *bad* to hide from... and if certain people WERE to find this and read certain stories they may be all 'umm this sounds ridiculously similar to me.  As in, this is EXACTLY what happened!"

Then they would probably confront me and be all "WTF Taylor!  You wrote about me!?!"

And I would have to say "excuse me?  Please show me to which you are referring.... Oh that? Are you for real right now?  Is your name Bernard? Theodore? Bieber? No?  I didn't think so! It's a small island okay. Haven't you had similar things happen to you before with different people! Geez.  Stop being egocentric!  Besides... why were you googling me you STALKER!"

Even though I'm *pretty* sure I could convince them this is the case.. I'd rather just avoid that whole debacle.  I am quite certain no one is going to google my name.  But in reality - people are weird.  And if they will creep my facebook page to get just that much more insight into who I am... they could very well google me. 

Because this paranoia has sunk in, I have been obsessively checking the stats on this thing to see if any hits from Dominica come in.  In doing so, I have discovered some interesting things... firstly there are an odd number of views coming in from the United States even though I'm quite sure I don't know anyone in the states right now who I have told I have this blog going.  Second, someone from Sweden stopped in today.  And I'm VERY positive I don't know anyone in Sweden, so that is kinda hilarious.  And thirdly... someone found this blog by searching for the Bristol Stool Form Scale (maybe the person in Sweden? I have no idea).  To that person, I apologize.  But shit.  It is funny that searching for shit forms led you to me.  A tip-of-the-transit-time-hat to ME.

All that being said, I have decided to change the address to this blog.  

Stay tuned

more to come

xoxo 




UPDATE:  this IS the new site so don't get all confused on me now.  I finally just got all the old stuff up on this one.  There is more ridiculousness to write about, I just haven't had the time yet.  What with studying and some tropical storm warning the past few days.  I promise I will get to it soon!

If You Truly Know Me. You Know I'm Super Cuddly.

Well here is an awkward little update. 

Fridays always seem to be tough for me... I think it is partly due to the fact it is the end of the week, and all the new info piled on reaches its overwhelming peak, and I go through 2.5hrs of high-blood-presure-inducing tutoring sessions.  By the time I get back to the barn, get a few more hours of studying in... ALL I want to do is go home and curl up in bed.  

So, back on Wednesday when Islandbeibs asked me if I wanted to watch Toy Story 3 on Friday night so that I could be 'proven wrong'... I probably only agreed because I never thought it would actually happen!  I have NEVER known a guy to actually follow through with what he says.  The only boys I have been linked to (embarrassingly enough) have been just that -little boys who have the maturity level of a 5 year old.  Actually, strike that.  That is offensive to the 5 year olds I know.  Anyway, you get the point - they NEVER ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH SHIT!   At best, they are little douchecanoe-cowards who are more skittish than deer.  Or whatever animal is super skittish?

Moving on.

Islandbeibs actually reminded me when I got back from tutoring about our movie.  I didn't really feel like watching a movie.  At least not with another human being.  Im such a social recluse here - I'm aware of it thanks.  So anyway... not exactly a romantic movie by any stretch of the imagination.  He's being real chatty. And I'm tired.  Which means I am super monotone and super sarcastic and refer to almost everything and everyone as an A-hole. douchecanoe. or saying I wanting to stab certain people in the eye. Bottom line. I'm a southern belle with a certain 'charm'.  

[Shit I need to explain that part because I realize I forgot to add this before... He came up to me on day 2 of our relationship and is all 'oh I've been meaning to ask you... I've noticed you have a very unique accent. I'm picking up some southern belle type thing."
Im all "Riooght.  I'm canadian. I'm from the North."
So he's all "oh what part of Canada. I'm Canadian."
And you couldn't pick out my accent!?]

Moving on.

So I'm sitting there with the most closed body language known to mankind. Legs crossed. Arms crossed. Slouched in chair. Not looking directly at him.  He's getting touchier and touchier.. like everytime I say something sarcastic or when he thinks his point is more correct than mine he like nudges my arm like 'huh huh huh'.  

Then at one point was all "can I see your hand", so I give it to him thinking he wants to see my tattoo (cause that's normally the case with people)... but he just holds my hand and checks out my mole and asks if I have been monitoring it. 

I guess it's sweet he's making sure I don't let a potential skin cancer kill me? 


I can sense him getting closer and closer...  his arm fiiiiinally made its way around my shoulder.
Please tell me you can picture this.  Me sitting there stiff as an effing board.  Arms crossed. With an arm around me.  Thinking 'ohgoshohgoshohgosh. no. This isn't happening.'

Then he gave me these weird hugs all the while keeping his one arm on my shoulder. And he would kinda keep his head lingering near mine and I turned my face up and away.  I basically looked like a 3 year old in a fit of stubbornness.  A good look on me I might add. 

So...shitonastick. I guess with the proposal I should have seen this coming??  But I DIDN'T. I don't know boys that make moves and go for it and are actually serious!  shit.

Can I please add that beibs played competitive table tennis.
Which, let's be completely honest... is borderline amazing. But in a funny way.  Not in a "I wanna jump your bones' or even "I'm okay with your arm around me" kind-of-way.

This will teach me to be nice.  I should have known my big smile and in-general-warm-inviting-demeanor would get me into trouble. 

When You Know. You Know.

You know how you hear those stories about people meeting and then instantly knowing that 'this is the person they will spend the rest of their lives with'.  And everything just blossoms from there.  From that moment on they both 'just know' and you can basically just start planning the wedding.  Everything just clicks.  Suddenly colors are more vibrant.  The sun is brighter, and when you look at it, it literally has a smiley face on it just your 5-year-old self's drawing of it. Every sappy-throw-up-in-your-mouth-love-song suddenly *totally* applies to you.  Basically you have an effing glow to you.  It's beautiful really.

This is what happens to other people.

This is what happens to me.

Tuesday was like any other day for me... while most people take it easy the day after an exam - or completely take the off - I just maintain the routine and get back to work by 630am.  So once again I had the entire day to park my ass in the barn.  Islandbiebs came over to my table when he got to the barn.  Asked me how the exam was blahblahblah.  Then just like the start of any true love story, he asked if I had skype.  So like a lady I give him my skypename to add me.  (Get out the kleenex girls... I'm about to go full on "The Notebook" on your asses).

So while sitting at the table beside me... we had a lovely chat on skype.  Somehow it got onto the topic of movies.  And nightmares I think?  He said how because of Chucky he forever has a phobia of dolls?  I think.  Something like this.  I wasn't fully paying attention.  He mentions how his basement is scary because all his sister's old dolls are kept down there because his mom gave him 'the talk' about keeping all your childhood toys to one day show your own kids.  He's like "didn't your mom make you save all your childhood toys for your kids?"  I'm all "well she probably did.  But even as a 10 year old I was like - my friend, you are being silly.  That won't be necessary. They are taking up precious space.  Toss em".

So he goes "what! didn't you see Toy Story 3!?"

I'm all "I sure did.  And it pissed me off.  Andy was a total A-hole."

That seemed to strike-a-cord with him because he got SUPER defensive.  "WHAT!?!" he says... "I cured cancer when I watched that movie... explanation to inside joke: boys don't cry. man tears cure cancer."  "The whole letting your toys go? That last 20 mins got to me and I went to check out all my old toys when I got home."

I'm said "Well I was just mad at Andy the whole time.  What.... a douchecanoe."

"Again, Why?"

"Umm because just because he grew up and thought he was super cool cause he was going to college... that he just tossed those toys around like GARBAGE!  Total trash is what he treated them like.  After everything they have been through."

"Did we watch the same movie?  Didn't you see Andy's struggle?"

"Oh yes.  I saw how he *didn't* struggle.  He thought for maybe all of half-a-second about buzz and woody, and then he just tossed buzz!  I was thinking umm, excuse me Andy, don't you remember how friggin excited you were to first get buzz... and now you just toss him into a garbage bag."

"You and I clearly saw this through different lenses.  I am downloading it now and you will rewatch with me and eat-your-words".

Shit. I always take it one comment too far.

Some time later that day...

"Girl I'm going to take you on a date right now.  No joke.  Be prepared to have your life feeling just a bit classier."

He then sent me 3 links.  Which I was instructed to "open all three in different tabs.  Wait a while to load.  And put the fireplace video on fullscreen".

I'm thinking - rioooght.

So, the first link is a site that just plays the sound of rain (with just a *hint* of thunderstorm in the background).  The second is a 'romantic music' song consisting of piano and cello music.  The third is a video of a crackling, glowing fireplace.  All going at the same time.  You get the picture though. 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that none of you have experienced this type of a date.  That just means you haven't been 'wooed' by a 'woo' with extensive geeky tricks-up-his-internet-sleeves.  

I'm all 'hilarious!' 

He replies "I believe I just made you life a bit more classy".

I'm all "well considering  yesterday I drank wine from a water bottle that had crystal-light icecubes in it... it wasn't *super* tough to raise the bar."

Later he said something about 'likening it to Mordor". 

So I'm thinking - wow! This is geek I speak... "now Mordor I know! Epic movie".

"It's not epic until you see the extended edition"

"I'm pretty sure I have only seen the extended versions"

[I didn't add the part that I did so when I had my wisdom teeth out and my face was the size of a 30lb watermelon and I was high on *prescribed* drugs]

Nonetheless... THIS was his response.

"Marry Me"

I'm all "whoa bear. You might want to consider having a few more criteria on your list before proposal.  Otherwise a girl could just PRETEND she likes Lord of The Rings and totally lead you astray. "

"Well that is true.  Good thing you aren't pretending huh?"

"Well now you can't quite be sure, now can you..."

"But either way I win you see.  Because on the one hand you watched it and you are one heck of a cool girl.  Or you care enough to lie.  I believe it's called 'lawyered'!"

"OR, I am just twisted and think it's funny to watch nerds get all excited about the topic of LOTR because I know it is a part of the building blocks of 'nerd-dome'. "

"Now why do you have to go and ruin a perfectly good thing."

"And second of all... you can NOT outquote me in How I Met Your Mother.  I believe Marshall would give me permission to turn it back on you and say 'Lawyered'!"

"I cannot believe you got that reference! See now I know you are cool.  I will not retract the statement asking for your hand in marriage."

So.  That's that.  I would like to point out that I MUST hold some type of record here.  First date to proposal in under 30 mins.  All without actually leaving the barn.  Can't get your man to 'pop-the-question-already' ladies?  Come to me... I will guide you.  

xoxo

I Recommend Wine In The Afternoon

Days just blend into one another here.  Especially in the week leading up to a Mini.  Everyday is pretty much the same, with a few differences, and I just robotically go through them.  Sometimes when I am looking back on the week is like I am hovering above watching myself going from place to place, doing this-and-that, and it is like watching someone else.  Thankfully there are always ridiculous little things that pop up at random times and make the day a little more unique (and make me laugh when I am laying in bed thinking about it).  Let me try to cover some of the highlights of this past week... 

Well, as my last post stated, I am + 1 brother-in-law which is pretty kickass. Thankfully my sisters attract really amazing guys! I am so blessed. 

Wednesday I made a new friend.

Let me preface...

I'm going through a Justin Beiber phase. No. An *intense* J.B. phase.  I resisted for so long... started out feeling physically ill when I heard his songs.  Then I evolved into liking them ironically.  Then those catchy lil buggers started really getting to me - in the sense that I can't help myself from dancing and loving it.  Then Jenna convinced me that I have not lived until I saw the Justin Beiber movie of his life called "Never say Never".  I shit-you-not, these are her emails to me...

o
m
g
jbeibs is sooooooo inspirational!
his first big concert back in canada,and his whole fam is there and his proud papa is watching from back stage crying!
and now immmmm crying!

Followed 30 mins by:

omg tay
im making a vow to you right meow
i just feel so inspired



I WILL NEVER SAY NEVER



bieber freakin fever

So, obviously I gave in and watched it.  And damn you guys, the lil stinker won me over. 

Whenever I need a pick me up, he is there for me. His music videos never get old - seriously. hysterical. But yet borderline amazing. That little nugget had popped-n-locked and sung his way into my heart. For now at least. Obviously there is limited space.

Continuing...

Now, because God has an incredible sense of humor... He has now placed a bieber-like boy in my life.

If Justin Beiber wore glasses. 

And wore a short white coat and stethoscope.  

And was asian. 

Maybe it is the effect of the island doing crazyass things to my perceptions, but I swear if I taught him the entire dance to "Somebody To Love" or "One Time" it would be EERIE.  I also have an overwhelming urge to put him in a purple hoodie.

So for the past 4 weeks (or maybe more? I have NO concept of time here) I have been admiring these 2 boys in the barn (one of them being IslandBeib)... they are quite different from one another in terms of 'type'... but they *are* both asian (it turns out I am also going through an asian phase too.  Other than Megan, the only people I like and actually talk to are asian.  And now I've been 'makin-eyes' with these boys.  Don't ask.  I cannot explain).  

IslandBeib is on the 'tallish-lankier' side, but has this incredibly endearing sense of style.  He is in 4th semester so has to be dressed up a lot, and a-tip-of-the-suave-hat to him.  The boy has some style! 

The other (also a 4th semester who cleans up *real* nice) is a little on the shorter side, but is a rare treat for the eyes because unlike 99.9% of all the guys here he has NOT grown a muffin-top and mantitties.  It didn't take me seeing him at the gym to know he works out.  Ridiculously gorgeous (or it's the island. I'll be honest, it is hard to make that judgment call at this point).  

So early in the week  I was at the water fountain (where all big things happen) and IslandBeiber was there... we always see each other, and sometimes even give half-little-smiles and half-waves to simply acknowledge that fact that we are aware of one anothers' presence. So he's all "I see you here all the time. I used to sit behind you and always thought 'oh this girl must love the barn! she is here more than I am even!" 

and I'm all 'yea I'm here a lot. but so are you cause I see you all the time. blabblah"

So he's like "I'm IslandBeib".

"I'm Taylor"
"oh like Taylor Swift"
umm "yea sure. but please I'm older. so I had the name first".
"I'll call you Taylor 1 then"
Awesome.

Then he just started giving me the biggest smiles and waves when he walks into the barn, and on Thursday I was walking to my patient interview and we ran into each other. so I stop and have an interesting quick conversation..
I'm all "oh how was ICM" (intro to clinical med)
He's like "oh it was awesome. I was super charming as always. I'm so smooth in there. I've just got so much going on. You know."
I'm thrown a little. So I just laugh. He was being half sarcastic I think?? But still. Kinda threw me for our first 'conversation'. So I'm just "oh I bet. laugh laugh laugh".

I really had to get going so I said,   "well I'm off to PBL then SP so I'll see you later in the barn I'm sure."

As I'm half walking away he's like "yeah come join me!"

'ya sure'

Then he was all,  and I kid you not,  "YES!" then did half first pump.
I. Die.

hilarious.


Now if only other boy would start talking to me. Then maybe I would get a story REALLY worthy of posting.

My patient interview was kinda tough.  My partner and I walk into the room (keep in mind they are acting! but REALLY WELL!!). Our 'patient' is laying on the exam table in EXCRUCIATING pain. Within 2 seconds I could tell it was kidney stones.  But, we still have to go through the 45 min interview asking him every question in the friggin universe. "Have you noticed any changes in your sight? nose? ears? throat? how are your bowel movements? how's your family? I know you are going to pass out from the pain and can barely talk,but stay with me!  Do you like long walks on the beach? how's your sex life? are you into any weird kinky shit? No? Okay noted. Thanks.  Okay let's get back to your pain as I can see you are writhing around on this table...." 

oh it was painful. But I think I did well.  He gave me really good feedback, so now I just have to do the write up for it which sucks, but then I will be done with Standardized Patient Interviews for the semester! 

When I got back to the barn after it all on Thursday IslandBeieb was not at his table, and the girl he sits with doesn't like me (I only say this because I see her all the time too, and always would smile and say hi, and she looks down and doesn't say anything back. And then half-glared at me in the bathroom the other day).  So for obvious reasons I was NOT going to go park my ass beside her.  Of course my usual spot was taken, so I just sat with my other friend in 4th, tucked away in the corner (I am TOTALLY taking this spot when she leaves after this semester!)

She left to go get something to eat for a while, and whilst she was gone, I was sitting there studying until I hear this HUGE BANG.  The blinds behind me are shaking.  Everyone is looking at me.  I turn around, spread open the blinds, and see a van crushed up against the barn wall.  So I'm all "umm a car just ran into the building", then everyone starts talking and we all pour outside to check it out.  LITERALLY the front end of the car was DIRECTLY behind where I was sitting.  I have no idea what happened, but had that van been going any faster, it would have come completely through the wall and taken me out. The driver was okay, just shaken up.  The barn-yard-animals were all in a tizzy, and it was a funny little study break for us all.

Friday was just: Study.  Pace test.  Study. Tutor. Study. Bed. 

So, Beibs granted me the gift of wishing me luck every day until my exam (which was this morning). So every night before I leave the barn he bows and says "good luck", and I curtsy and say "thank you good sir".

Okay totally not really.  But in my head that is how it is happening.  

Saturday was: market. pumpkin. 14 lb watermelon. Study all day. 

Sunday: Was at the barn all day, and in a moment of feeling completely overwhelmed studying and the exam being today, I went outside and was just staring off into the distance. Theodore came out a few minutes later and we started talking about nothing significant.  Until he started saying how hard he tried with me.  I'm just laughing all "oh Theordore. don't be silly." with a "please stop talking about this" plea in my head.  Then he asks if I am a lesbian.  Awesome.  

IslandBeibs walks by just as Theodore is starting to talk about this "most beautiful dream" he had.  Beibs was all 'oh I'm out" but then I gave him a 'um no you are staying' look. And he obeyed.  Theodore goes on to set the scene for us - he was in the middle of the ocean. and he was walking on water. and surrounded by animals and petting them. and there was just beauty all around him.  I'm all "well must have sucked to wake up then". 

 Of course you're probably thinking "why the frigginH would he just start talking about a dream like that?"  and that is a legitimate question. But I have come to the point where I am not even the slightest bit phased by random ridiculousness such as this.  My response is more along the lines of  'yup. that seems about right'.  

But here is the kicker.  When I get home that night and unpack my bag, I look at my phone, and see a text that says. and I quote "Good luck tomorrow.  And you were in the dream with me. But I didn't want to say in front of him".  

There are no words. But again I just laugh, shrug my shoulders, and say "seems about right".  

I was actually having a really 'off ' day Sunday.  You know those days where you are just stupidly clumsy? It started by spilling coffee grinds all over the counter and floor because my hand took on a life-form of it self and decided to turn-and-dump before my hand was actually over the filter. So instead I literally just dumped the scoop of grinds not even close to the filter.  Then as I was trying to put away my almond milk in the fridge I knocked it somehow and it fell over, the lid popped off, and it spilled all over. At lunch I had my salt/spice shaker open on the counter, turned and knocked it with such force that it flew across the counter, spilling its guts.  And for the grande finale... for my bed time snack I was  gathering some watermelon - but of course!  I popped a delicious juicy chunk in my mouth, took one bite down, but noticed I had flung a little piece on the floor, so I bent down to pick it up, and watermelon juice literally spilled out my nose and onto the floor.  I couldn't make this shit up even if I tried. 

This morning was Mini 2.  Digestive and Renal.  Didn't feel great walking out of it.  But thankfully the rest of my day was borderline-amazing.  Megan and I went the gym.  Got wine.  Went to the pool. And talked about nothing digestive or renal related.  It was wonderful.  

And now I am going to hit 'publish', hope there aren't too many nonsensical sentences and spelling errors, and be sleeping before 830pm.  If it wasn't for the fact that I told certain people I would have an update after my exam today, I would have been sleeping by 730pm.  Because I am *that* awesome. Every family has their 'wild chid'... obviously I took on that role in my family. 

And finally... 

Here is this week's edition of:  food-combinations-that-actually-don't-go-together-but-somehow-are-borderline-amazing-because-I-live-in-Dominica

Purple Cabbage.  Beans.  Avocado.  Pumpkin. AhMAHzing.  Why you so good to me Sir Pumpkin.  Curtsy. 

I'm Stuck On A Rock. But Fortunately I Have An Overactive Imagination.


Here are a few more pictures to help you get inside my world...

The "Shacks"

St.James Center.  Classroom above. Simulation Center below.

Saturday morning on my way to the market.  Evidently it was let-your-cow-roam-free-day.

You have no idea how happy this meal made me.  Gourmet food at its finest.  Yeah *I'm* the weird one for  eating this and not dominican-chinese food. 

If I knew how to draw in things on my pictures, I would have added one big smiley face for this fridge.  This isn't even all of the watermelon... I ate around 3lbs of it before it dawned on me to take a picture to show you all.  That night I had to get up 3 times through the night for watermelon-pees.  Totally worth it. 

As I am sitting here writing this, it is close to 2pm on July 12th in France and so I'm pretty sure that Lindsay and Dav are married now?  I honestly don't even know what time it was all happening.  I know nothing actually.  Nobody told me anything.  I DO know that while everyone was merrily enjoying 100 different wine and cheese pairings in some quaint village in France (in my head it is exactly like village in Beauty and the Beast) I was eating my weight in pumpkin and watermelon.  It might be a blessing for them however.  I'd be drunk after a glass-and-a-half of wine.  Lose all my inhibitions.  Eat all the different cheeses.  Then be hella gassy for the rest of the party.  Then the french-in-laws would be all "who is dis farte petite fille!?!" 

BUT... then I would cue up the music and perform the interpretive dance to Celine Dion's "Power of Love" which I had spent *months* perfecting.  For obvious reasons it would move the bride and groom to tears.  Everyone would then forget about the whole previous 'situation du gaz' and *totally* beg for another performance from me.  Of course because I'm such a people pleaser, and it is just unfair to withhold borderline-amazing-dances from these people, I would inevitably give in.  I have a pretty wide-range-repetoire of Celine Dion,   but of course I don't like to limit myself, so eventually I would bring out the oh-so-ahMAHzing-Justin-Beiber.  To put it simply, it would blow everyone's mind.  Lindsay's new inlaws would be all "cette fille est un ange".  And I would be all "oh merci".  Then curtsy.  Then, "I love my sister and new brother-in-law. HERE IS TO LINDSAY AND DAV!!" 

l'amour

xoxo

You Are The Weakest Link. Goodbye.

And now - another edition of "Slide Taken From A Lecture"...

You're welcome. 

Not only is this picture hilarious in-and-of-itself, especially when it is thrown into a lecture powerpoint in medical school... But then I start imaging what all these people would have been saying in this *awkward* situation...
Bottom Left: "It's okay big fella.  You are in good hands here.  We got this under control."
2nd Left: "Oh shit. I'm not really sure what I'm doing here.  I'm fairly certain that if I just clamp here.  Then CUT this ball off... yeah... that should be alright.   Right?  Oh well doesn't matter now... here it goes!"
3rd Left: "Does it help if I apply pressure here?"
Guy on Right: "Geez this guy is a real squirmer.  Hold still you little bugger!! Maybe if you didn't go tuggin on your balls all day you wouldn't be in this position! Did you ever think about that!?!"
Patient:  " Oh my eff!! Please stop! Please! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!?!"

This is what endless hours of studying and lack of social interaction does.  Obviously I am brilliant at entertaining myself.  

And now... The continuation in the story...

Since I last told you about Theodore... I can't remember where I last filled you in so if I repeat some stuff I'm sorry.

It was a least a few weeks ago now that he had his semesters' exam, and that afternoon he came by the barn to tell me he made me lunch. And that it was gluten free. I thinking - oh my damn. oh. my. damn. I *so* did NOT see this coming.  So I robotically get up and follow him to his apartment. He tells me to sit down. and "he serve me" because "I am the princess."

 First of all, I didn't like my demotion from Queen. Second of all, it is SO hot and humid... plus I'm getting anxious about this date that I accidentally stumbled into. The sweat is starting to friggin POUR.

So we start eating. He starts telling me some of his life story. Turns out he is from Lebanon. I am fully aware I am not overly culturally aware. At first I thought maybe he was from India. Then he said he played for his national soccer team and plays on a rec team at school. So I asked what their team name was and he was all 'viva italiana'. So then I got really confused and thought 'well hey...maybe he's Italian with a really different sort of Italian accent?"

ya. no. He is from lebanon. Okay moving on. I'm all - "that's so nice of you to make me lunch. you didn't have to do that. blahblahblah."

He's all - "well I really like you. I've liked you since last semester. But I always hated that guy you were always with (Bernard) because I thought he was your boyfriend."

So now I'm really sweating. And I mean that my food is now extra salty because the friggin sweat is friggin falling from my face like I just dove into a lake.  

I'm just looking at my food. swallow. Then look up and and say well that's nice, but just so we are on the same page and there's no mixed messages...I'm really not looking for anything more than friends.

He kinda paused. And is like 'oh okay. yes of course.'

Then awkward pause.. and the details of specific words exchanged are kind of fuzzy because 1) I was in mid heatstroke and 2) I blocked some of this out.

Thankfully we were able go get through the rest of the lunch, and actually had good conversation. 

OH! But I need to point out that early into the lunch he's obviously noticing my glasses fogging up due to my own body emitting so much friggin heat.  And I keep trying to somewhat-gracefully catch the falling giant beads of sweat before they drown me (he was sweating too. But I already sweat more than any given man - because I'm *super* blessed in my feminine nature... so let's just say I was probably sweating more).  So being the gentleman that he is, he's all "let's move into the bedroom."

... "for the A/C."

I'm like "oh are you a little too warm out here? I barely noticed the heat. I have excellent thermoregulation." 

Lie. I was all "oh thank you! I am totally going to pass out due to hypovolemic shock if I sit out here for another minute!" 

And then... I'm sitting at the desk. Talk talk talk. Praying the A/C will cool me down. Fast.  Then dear, sweet, knightly Theodore gets up, goes to his closest, comes back, and hands me a nice clean face cloth.  Yeah... to dab my face with.  Gotta say - this was a first for me.  It's not everyday a girl has a guy get her a cloth to soak up the sweat pouring from her ENTIRE face.  

I know. I ooooze regal feminism right now.  

And while this is never quite the ideal situation for a woman and could possibly lead to a feeling called 'embarrassment'... I totally DIDN'T!  I was only thankful. 

So I finish as much of the lunch as I can (he dished me enough for a 600lb man). Then he's like "oh but I have something else for you."  Comes back with a big bowl of chocolate icecream. With sliced banana around the edges. Topped with frozen pineapple and slivered almonds.

But just for me. not for him. I really didn't want to eat it. But what was I supposed to do!?!? So I sat there and ate it. If for anything but to cool me the eff down.

So since then he had toned it down quite a bit. He wasn't the typical boymean-after-they've-been-shotdown. Was still as sweet as ever. Just toned down the overly flattering remarks (did I tell you one night I got home after studying all day in the barn and he texted me 'with all the respect. you made the color yellow more elegant and lovely')?

Last week after my exam and then anatomy lab exam, I was a little upset over the lab exam. and that night he texted me "sweetie don't worry it's only worth the equivalent of 3 questions on a mini". I threw my phone. (it totally didn't break.  that little $20 thing was built to last!)  Even if I was given a personality transplant and decided I even *wanted* a boyfriend, I don't think I'd allow him to call me sweetie.

Moving on. on Friday evening he asked me if Saturday night I wanted to go get some icecream or something (and I just saw him talking to another friend of his so I thought it would be non-exclusive). So I awkwardly said 'ya we will see how much I get done because I am going to a clinic with Salabyia.'

I did end up doing the clinic. It's way up in the native territory. That is another long story in and of itself.

Interviewed my first psychiatric patient which was an interesting experience.

LONG ass day in the bushvillages. in scrubs. in 100F 100%humidity. I'm *pretty* sure I lost 3 lbs at least in sweat alone. Didn't eat from 6am to 5pm. But didn't know it till I got home at 5. So I shower. eat. and start studying at home. Theodore texted me asking if I was okay (because I wasn't at the barn all day and that almost never happens). I reply that I just got home. As I am mid-prayer that he won't ask about going out tonight..the message appears 'are you still in for tonight? It's my birthday.'

Well shit. You can't say no! How do you say no!? So I study a couple hours,then meet him. and only him. I kept thinking he would throw in "oh so-and-so is going to meet us there", but nope.  We go to the little coffeehouse they have here. On the walk there he picks a flower and gives it to me. Gets my latte. Makes me try his blended dessert-type drink.  I'm all 'oh that's good', even though I would never ever in a million years drink more than a sip.  But he LEAPS out of his chair is like "Oh I will get you one now!!"  I'm all 'NO! I already have this one!!" He's persistent "No No you like it. I get for you!" 

"Please no! I can't drink two."  Panic.  "You can save if for next time." 

He sits down smiling "okay!"

Oopsiedaisies.  Well played Theodore.  Well.  Played.  

soo. that's that. 

Now we are to the present time.  Went to the market again yesterday (Saturday).  Stocked up on pumpkin, watermelon, and pineapple.  Of course. 

Meanwhile, my family is in France.  Sipping wine. Being Fabulous and Fancy.  Celebrating Lindsay and Dav's wedding (which will be on the July 12th).  

Obviously I'd give up my first born to be there with them.  It is the total McShits knowing that I'm missing my sister's wedding.  But... C'est la vie.  Check out Chelsa's pictures!  They are amazingly fabulous!

Xoxo