Well. That Unraveled Fast.

Mind blowing. Core rocking. Ball busting. Boob bursting. Fast.

The last update is now a Moo Point.  You know, like a cow's opinion.  It doesn't matter.  It's moo.


[if you actually got that, then you are as thoroughly scripted in Friends episodes as I am, and well, I just love you for that.]

Let me try to recap.

• I changed focus and decided to pursue 2014 match for residency based upon the urging from the Medical Education clinical coordinator here ---- let us call him Rumpelstiltskin. 
• Rumpelstiltskin was all, "yo I will get you a 2 week elective no problem to fit it right after Family Med is done and then right from there you go to Baltimore for Internal Med." Then he was all, "then you put together this scheduling grid for me and I will schedule all your electives back-to-back here".  oh and of course get started on all the things you need to do to prepare for Match applications (which was a giant mofo headache)
• I go crazy getting all the shit I need to arrange, organize, complete, and schedule
• I think - oh my gosh this will be hectic right now but oh boy how nice will it to be in one place for all my electives and to have them all set up! 
• Fast forward 4 weeks.  Get email from Rumpel announcing his official resignation.  
• I email the rat-bastard to inquire about the status of  my 2 week elective at the end of this month and the lifeline that is the rest of my scheulde
• Rumple is all, "oh ya about that - not going to be able to do that... and ooo yaaaa... wasn't even able to get that 2 week elective for you. I do apologize."
• he does apologize?!?!
• I IMMEDIATELY call Ross Clinical Advising department to schedule something. anything!! 
• It is a Wednesday. They don't take calls Wednesdays.  But call back Thursday. 
• I call back Thursday.  They are in meetings all day.  But keep trying and you might catch the one who takes certain calls.  
• I call about 6 times and finally get through!
• Find out there's like, 2 rotations he could schedule me for. One in November. One in January. cause thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat helps me. I explain my situation here, and he is all, "oh well Rumple isn't scheduling anymore but his assistant is.  And they do their own scheduling so I can't get you in there"
• So I talk to Rumple.  He is all, "No sorry still can't help you out. no new process has been put in place yet". 
• I reach out to numerous hospitals who also do their own scheduling - they either don't have any elective places left anymore, or they don't take students who did not complete Core rotations with them. 
• I call Ross all day long on Friday.... cannot get through except to automated recording that says "you are shit out of luck kiddo. hang up and try again later."
•  In the midst of all this....I have a vehicle being shipped across Canada and I'm supposed to pick it up just across the border of Michigan and Canada --- because I will need a car in Baltimore and then was supposed to come back to Michigan for 8 months and need the car. 
• I ask 'colleague friend' after 'colleague friend' to drive just over an hour to the border so I can handle this, and then it would be just over an hour back.  And do you think any of these assholes would want to help someone out?  Of course not. They "are behind on studying".  For family medicine shelf.  An exam that is meaningless in the end.  
• I finally get a friend who doesn't have a car here, but would be willing to drive with me in my rental car and then drive the rental car back for me. This works. 
• So we go to the car rental place and get her added to insurance and contract blah blah blah.  Car should be ready for pick up by Saturday or Sunday.
• I send email that's all, "where do I go exactly on Sunday" and get reply, "oh yaaaa about that.... trucking company lied and turns out won't be till mid to late next week."
• Additionally, my visa is going to expire before I am done my rotation in Baltimore (and how could you forget what an effing nightmare it was to get the visa in the first place!!!!!!) and I had brought this concern up to Rumple 4 weeks ago
• he was all "your biggest concern is my smallest concern, it will be no problem.  I will have you scheduled.  You will contact Ross closer to the date.  They will contact me and I will have this letter drawn up saying you are scheduled here until such-and-such a date and bam - no problem. 
• Now. I have nothing set up. And with my luck as of late... oh my lanta.  I'll have immigration cops handcuffing me and detaining me for weeks of interrogation.

I want you to know - there are A LOT of details I'm leaving out, simply because if I tried to explain or incorporate them into this recap you would just get uber confused and frustrated and probably stop reading because you can't follow anything I'm saying.  Do you already feel like that?  I do apologize.

This is my life ya'll.  Jealous much?

After my breakdown threshold became incrementally lower and lower with each breath-taking-gut-punch that arose every single effing day for the past 10days... I finally FUCK IT! I'm out.

Booked a flight home as soon as Family Med rotation is over - just like the original plan.
 Poured myself a Vase of wine (my wine glass - Big Stan) and started packing up the place I have called home since Feb 3rd... A room at the Ramada Inn. (without a kitchen) Aaaaah living the dream.

Oh Big Stan never leave me. 

It is time to take a step back. Relax at The Lake with my family and Biffle.  Regain some perspective.  Uterus Up (lady version of 'man up'), and keep pressing on because it-is-what-it-is, and deep down I know everything will work out in the end.

Probably.

And if it doesn't - - -

I'll take out an ad in the classifieds section - Looking For Your Trophy Wife? You Just Found Her.  Fully Qualified, Class A+ Trophy Wife.  (references available upon request).