Little Talks.

In the past month and a half I have now had 3 of these:

• me: hey!
• friend: hey! how are you!?
• me: oh I'm fine and how are you!?
• friend: I'm good! .... I'm engaged!!! 

Me.  Giddy girly squeals of excitement.  Get all the girly details of proposal and wedding plans.

Hang up. Go on with my day until all of a sudden my 26 dateless years flash before me (accidental dates where I sweat buckets don't count okay).


You know it's out of control when... during my break at the lake, while watching a movie on TV with my father who can't stand reality shows, a commercial for the Bachelor comes on:

• silence.  serious dad voice:  "maybe you should go on that show" 
• me: thanks dad.  I have never considered that.  I have however thought I should be the Bachelorette as then I have all the control. But still, not quite entirely sure how to process that suggestion. 

 A few weeks ago, while in the cafeteria having lunch with the two-girls in my group who are hilarious and get as irritated with IM as me (so we laugh our way through together to survive).  Then a guy I did psychiatry with in NY showed up in the cafeteria surprising me.  He sat down with us and we rehashed hysterical stories.  Then somehow the topic landed on me:

•  friend: I'm having a party at my place this weekend because I'm leaving Baltimore.  You are coming!
• me: oooo yaaaa... I wish I could, but I really don't want to.
• friend: You are so ridiculous! Do you hang out with anyone here!?
• me: I do actually! Visad and I were on the same floor team for a while, will be on night-float together, and always get along great and have fun.  And I hang out with these girls all the time! We have a blasty-blast together. Bam.
• friend:  are you talking about in the setting of the hospital? That's not 'hanging-out'!!! "Out" actually means outside of the confines of work!
• me: oh.  well then you got me. checkmate. 

Conversation with lady I rent my room from in her house.  This morning while making coffee:

• Lady: I'm so glad you don't have to work today.  I can't get over how much you have to work.  It's like a marathon. 
• Me: Ya a full day off to just study is blessing
• Lady: I'm going to make ____ for lunch later do you want one! (she's very persistent in trying to feed me and I'm running out of creative ways to say why I don't want anything and will eat what I make, such that she will drop it and not be offended)
• Me: oh that's sweet of you. No thank you though.  I am going out to grab a quick coffee later with a friend so I'll just have something to eat then. 
• Lady: oh! That is soooo good you are going out and doing something! You never do that! 

Clearly I'm not the only one who is blatantly aware of my nonexistent social life.

Little Links:

• why did you want to become a doctor?
• Intervention?
• My view of The Bachelor
• What I say to myself to self-soothe from anxiety