Well that is basic how I feel sometimes. It's a twisted friggin' rollercoaster. But totally the kind where I get off after the one ride, maybe stumble around for a couple steps until the endolymph in my semicircular canals sorts it shit out, stand up and shout, 'that was AWESOME!' Then run back around to the entrance and do it all over again. And even though I'm just a teeny tiny baby in this journey through med school, I know myself well enough to know that no matter how loop-de-loopy it gets, I would never want to be on any other ride.
Oh honey. Oh sweetie. No.
I did not know myself. Things got pretty damn loopy. I totally wanted to get on a different ride at several significantly loopy turns. I mean, I'm glad I didn't! But, you know...
July 30, 2011
let me repeat. He needs. To watch. His back. and front. and sides for that matter!
How
can one human being possess so many annoying qualities. And how did I
look past them until now? Doesn't he get the message that I've had
enough of him. We had a good run as friends. But then I woke up and
decided it was over. Not everyone can be my friend forever. Obviously
that's reserved for the super special. geez. I can't go whoring around
my borderline amazing friendship. It's for the elite. And my version of
the Elite are not people who ooze OBNOXIOUSNESS by simply breathing.
It's
over dude. give it up. leave me alone. when you come thru the barn door
in the morning you turn right and go to the cubicle. Don't even look
left to where I am. You know what, while we are on the topic of
looking.. How about we just make it simple and you just avoid looking at
me. Always. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm doing that to you already.
Get the message and get on board the train (obviously the train heading
in the opposite direction as the one I am on. durr).I may have been under the weather with a touch of the 'stress induced bat-shit-crazy' virus.
April 22, 2012
I
have not worn a real bra 4 weeks. A sports bra for the gym. A bandeau
for the rest of my existence. No makeup. Nothing. Effectively, any last
glimmer of 'caring' was lost. Very very lost.
One time I showed up to my review with Megan and she's all "oh did you just shower?"
I'm all "what's that now? No. Why do you ask?"
She's all "oh your hair looks wet."
Then
I remember that my hair is soaked in coconut oil. I mean really, that
could happen to anyone. I’m not going to lie though – I totally rocked
that look… Enough to convince Megan to also give her hair some coconut lovin. I really don't know what to say to this. I just... Ya. I have nothing. This was end of 4th semester. I literally could not have cared about anything less than I did then.
October 31, 2012
Back into immigration holding area. Big sigh of relief as I see ImmiHagBag has
not returned yet. I fill out the visa
form as fast as humanly possibly.
ImmiMan stamps the shit out of it.
Hands it back to me, looks straight at me and says – “run. Run as fast as you can.”
I really had some fatass bad luck going through immigration. What. A fun experience that was.
April 23, 2013
Me, post call. Probably the ugliest side of me. I get all curled up in bed, resume watching an episode, and one of my favorite characters dies!!! *Normal* me would be all, 'aw that's to bad'. *Post-call* me was freaking hysterical. Face half covered with blankets as I sob! You know what I mean? The 'ugly-cry'. Through broken heaves and sobs I'm crying out in a deep manly voice - NOOOOOHOHOHO!! WWWWWWHY!?!? NOoooohohoNoo! Wwwwhy!! Not. *choke on tears* Jer-e-my *choke on tears* My eyes quickly became swollen from the fast escape of tears, which is when I finally had some voice of reason say "what is happening to you right now!? stop this! sleep!"
So I listened. I passed out instantly. Woke up 6hrs later - it was 3pm. I got up to eat, and resumed watching more of the episode. Started bawling again. Turned it off at 5pm. Then woke up next to my alarm at 5am to go back to work. That's right. Do the math - I slept 18hrs.
One would think this amount of sleep would cure any illogical, unreasonably excessive emotion.
One would think.
However, add a dash of effed-up hormones to the mix and a dollop or heap of misery while in Ob-Gyn rotation
Oh OB-GYN. You truly were my low point. My dark, dark, low point.
June 15, 2013
It is time to take a step back. Relax at The Lake with my family and Biffle. Regain some perspective. Uterus Up (lady version of 'man up'), and keep pressing on because it-is-what-it-is, and deep down I know everything will work out in the end.
Probably.
And if it doesn't - - -
I'll take out an ad in the classifieds section - Looking For Your Trophy Wife? You Just Found Her. Fully Qualified, Class A+ Trophy Wife. (references available upon request).
This still holds true.
August 26, 2013
had a 400lb patient with severe heart failure because his little heart had to work so hard to supply his huge body, as well as a big ol' fat infected leg because he is huge and diabetic. I had the pleasure of seeing him every morning for a week and listen to him whine about one thing after another, the best being a bitch fest to me over what a terrible place this was and he was getting poor care because we didn't have an MRI machine that he could fit in. I wanted to say, 'sir do you realize that theoretically we take people like you to the zoo to be imaged? If you don't like our care maybe try checking in there first next time.' But instead, I just had to fake empathy for 3 seconds and then examine him --- putting my stethoscope on his hairy. sweaty. oh-so-sweaty. body. Then spend the next 10 mins disinfecting and questioning my life choices.
Life choices.
I really had some fatass bad luck going through immigration. What. A fun experience that was.
April 23, 2013
Me, post call. Probably the ugliest side of me. I get all curled up in bed, resume watching an episode, and one of my favorite characters dies!!! *Normal* me would be all, 'aw that's to bad'. *Post-call* me was freaking hysterical. Face half covered with blankets as I sob! You know what I mean? The 'ugly-cry'. Through broken heaves and sobs I'm crying out in a deep manly voice - NOOOOOHOHOHO!! WWWWWWHY!?!? NOoooohohoNoo! Wwwwhy!! Not. *choke on tears* Jer-e-my *choke on tears* My eyes quickly became swollen from the fast escape of tears, which is when I finally had some voice of reason say "what is happening to you right now!? stop this! sleep!"
So I listened. I passed out instantly. Woke up 6hrs later - it was 3pm. I got up to eat, and resumed watching more of the episode. Started bawling again. Turned it off at 5pm. Then woke up next to my alarm at 5am to go back to work. That's right. Do the math - I slept 18hrs.
One would think this amount of sleep would cure any illogical, unreasonably excessive emotion.
One would think.
However, add a dash of effed-up hormones to the mix and a dollop or heap of misery while in Ob-Gyn rotation
Oh OB-GYN. You truly were my low point. My dark, dark, low point.
June 15, 2013
It is time to take a step back. Relax at The Lake with my family and Biffle. Regain some perspective. Uterus Up (lady version of 'man up'), and keep pressing on because it-is-what-it-is, and deep down I know everything will work out in the end.
Probably.
And if it doesn't - - -
I'll take out an ad in the classifieds section - Looking For Your Trophy Wife? You Just Found Her. Fully Qualified, Class A+ Trophy Wife. (references available upon request).
This still holds true.
August 26, 2013
had a 400lb patient with severe heart failure because his little heart had to work so hard to supply his huge body, as well as a big ol' fat infected leg because he is huge and diabetic. I had the pleasure of seeing him every morning for a week and listen to him whine about one thing after another, the best being a bitch fest to me over what a terrible place this was and he was getting poor care because we didn't have an MRI machine that he could fit in. I wanted to say, 'sir do you realize that theoretically we take people like you to the zoo to be imaged? If you don't like our care maybe try checking in there first next time.' But instead, I just had to fake empathy for 3 seconds and then examine him --- putting my stethoscope on his hairy. sweaty. oh-so-sweaty. body. Then spend the next 10 mins disinfecting and questioning my life choices.
Life choices.
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