What.... a turn of the lazy-susan.
After years and years and years of being an lacrimal-duct-challenged robot, I have evidently turned into a bottomless pit of raging tears. Okay, well not so much raging tears per say. Raging rage with the presence of tears is a more accurate description. But whatever. Point being - I'm a teary faced little toad.
Do you want to know what really threw a lit-match onto this fuel-soaked-pile-of-suppressed-shit?
Being awake for 29hrs straight then getting home into bed and watching the saddest episode of Army Wives -- that's what. (side note: yes. I am completely, 100% emotionally, committed to Army Wives. A show with a fan base consisting of menopausal house-wives and me. I'm not ashamed to admit this.)
Me, post call. Probably the ugliest side of me. I get all curled up in bed, resume watching an episode, and one of my favorite characters dies!!! *Normal* me would be all, 'aw that's to bad'. *Post-call* me was freaking hysterical. Face half covered with blankets as I sob! You know what I mean? The 'ugly-cry'. Through broken heaves and sobs I'm crying out in a deep manly voice - NOOOOOHOHOHO!! WWWWWWHY!?!? NOoooohohoNoo! Wwwwhy!! Not. *choke on tears* Jer-e-my *choke on tears* My eyes quickly became swollen from the fast escape of tears, which is when I finally had some voice of reason say "what is happening to you right now!? stop this! sleep!"
So I listened. I passed out instantly. Woke up 6hrs later - it was 3pm. I got up to eat, and resumed watching more of the episode. Started bawling again. Turned it off at 5pm. Then woke up next to my alarm at 5am to go back to work. That's right. Do the math - I slept 18hrs.
One would think this amount of sleep would cure any illogical, unreasonably excessive emotion.
One would think.
However, add a dash of effed-up hormones to the mix and a dollop or heap of misery while in Ob-Gyn rotation...
You get me.
An unpredictable basket-case.
...Doing more than just dipping my toes into the sea-of-mental-break-down.
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